This blog is the seventh chapter in my daily journals chronicling my first tour as a rock artist. In my first four tour journal entries (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4), I recalled my weeks spent trekking across Europe. In my previous two entries (Part 5 and Part 6), I chronicled reuniting my intrepid crew to tour North America, starting with New York City and Boston. In Washington D.C.’s storied 9:30 Club we shocked my bass player Pete with a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday To You.” In Montreal, I got a surprisingly thorough lesson in laundry from one of the world’s most brutal death metal drummers, Gene Hoglan. My adventures continue in Part Seven…
Wednesday, May 28
6:30 pm
Toronto, Ontario
I was jolted out of a dream around 11 am as the bus lurched to a halt outside The Danforth Music Hall in beautiful Toronto.
I stumbled off the bus and saw Baldo, Timmy and Jack getting ready to load in.
I sauntered across a lively sidewalk to Dough Bakery next door, with Morgan and Brendan, to kickstart my nervous system with a hot breakfast sandwich and a latte.
I caught up with my friend Archy Jay for lunch. I’ve known India’s renowned first female bagpiper for nearly a decade, when she popped on to my radar after produced a heavy metal bagpipe cover of The Walking Dead. I was thrilled to collaborate with her on The Singularity, when she contributed additional bagpipes to the Scottish-influenced song, “Exiles.” Surprisingly, she and I had never met in person until today! We wandered the streets of downtown until we found a cozy British pub. I fueled up with a hearty steak, enough protein to get me to midnight. (I’ve learned I can’t really eat too much before a show.)
Returning to the Danforth Music Hall, I worked with the band during soundcheck to finetune a few details, including new choreography where every member of the band leaves the stage except for me at the end of “Tears for the Dead Life.”
After soundcheck, I brainstormed with Igor and Brendan to create a playlist of rock music to play between Morgan’s set and my own. I had selected a bunch of film score cues that inspired me growing up as the pre-show music for this tour, but we felt like we needed to amp up the energy for the half hour right before I take the stage. Continuing the trend, we curated a new playlist that included my favorite rock songs with connections to cinema, including Queen’s “Princes of the Universe,” Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall Part II,” Guns N’ Roses’ “Live and Let Die,” David Bowie’s “Magic Dance” and Blue Öyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” I am excited about the show tonight.
Thurday, May 29
2:00 am
Somewhere Outside of Toronto, Ontario
Another fantastic set! The new pre-show music hyped up the crowd. All the little details we worked on in soundcheck worked perfectly, including Pete Griffin’s suggested retooling of the second verse riff in “Apocalypse.”
When I was the final person on stage during “Tears for the Dead Life,” I raised my fists into the air during the song’s climactic note and the crowd roared in jubilant response. I have never felt more like a rock star! I feel like we’ve finally cracked the code on the encore.
After the show, I caught up with several friends, including Ramon K. Perez, one of the visual artists who contributed significant chapters to The Singularity graphic novel. I didn’t realize how many people I knew in Toronto!
I am currently crawling into my bed at the back of the bus. I am looking forward to two days off. I have fun events scheduled in both Fort Wayne, Indiana, and Milwaukee, Michigan that will be a welcome break from the constant live shows.
Thursday, May 29
7:30 pm
East of Fort Wayne, Indiana
Frankie woke us all up abruptly at 5:20 am when a United States Border Official boarded our bus. Unlike the last border crossing, we didn’t have to leave the bus—we didn’t even have to leave our beds! We simply had to respond when our name was called so the officer could confirm the passengers matched the passports. In the future, I will definitely take into account the fact that I can’t sleep through border crossings!
A few hours later, after the bus stopped in Fort Wayne, Indiana, I found myself walking into the sprawling Sweetwater corporate campus located there. This experience had been on the books for month, after it became clear we’d have a few days off between shows. Sweetwater is the biggest musical instrument retailer in the United States and my manager, Joe Augustine, who had flown in from New York City that morning, had arranged a stop here so we could discuss a variety of projects we have in the works with the company, and I could check out their world-class production and mixing facilities. I was excited to finally meet some of the Sweetwater folks in person and see their storied campus.
After meeting a bunch of people there, and shooting a little solo piano presentation video, I realized I still had a couple hours to kill before I needed to be back at the bus, so I checked out some guitars in their vast showrooms. Taking advantage of the day off, Jai was wandering the showroom floors, so I enlisted him to help me. I probably tried a dozen guitars, sitting before a wall of a dozen amps. Jai brought over a used Schecter Keith Merrow KM-6 MK-III.
I played some of my heavier riffs on it and thought it felt pretty good, and asked Jai for his opinion, handing it over to him. He proceeded to effortlessly shred devastating Gojira riffs! He handed the guitar back and gave it his seal of approval. I laughed, struggling to imagine how many years would have to pass before I could ever get this instrument to sound like that. I also grabbed an Ibanez Kiko Loureiro Signature KIK10P, a beautiful instrument with a transparent grey burst finish. With Sweetwater shipping my two new guitars back home, I headed back to the bus.
We are currently heading East across Indiana, and we just survived a potential tour bus disaster: somebody locked the bathroom door and closed it behind them! Thus began a massive operation to pick the lock and open the door. Ironically, all the crew guys kept their bags in the shower, so everybody’s tools were locked securely behind the door. Jai, Baldo, Omer, Frankie, Paul, Igor, Morgan and I all struggled to find the right tools to pry the door. We tried a hotel key card, a ball-point pen, a paper clip, and a plastic knife, all to no avail. Meanwhile, we were miles away from any rest stop in the middle of nowhere, and I struggled not to pee my pants. I increasingly entertained contingency plans involving an empty iced tea bottle with every passing minute!
At last, Morgan suggested his weird Japanese ear-cleaning device (I already know more about this thing than I want to) and Baldo successfully used it to pop the door open. The bus echoed with rowdy cheers! I bolted into the bathroom and there was much rejoicing. Oh, the rock star life!
We will arrive in Milwaukee in a few hours and sleep in actual hotel beds again.
Saturday, May 31
12:45 am
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Just had an amazing day hanging with my friends who run Red Letter Media, in Milwaukee. We spent an epic fourteen hour day shooting an episode of their show “Best of the Worst.” I am thrilled to finally crawl into a bed in an actual hotel room. Gonna grab a few hours sleep before we head to Chicago in the morning!
Saturday, May 31
10:00 am
Chicago, Illinois
Back on the bus, and we’ve been on the road for a few hours. I already see the outskirts of Chicago out the window beyond. Our tour ends tonight, and I am filled with conflicted feelings. On one hand, I am ready to go home. I miss my wife, my kids, my studio, and my creative life that thrives on a sense of normalcy. On the other hand, I am deeply grateful for the camaraderie from all these guys in the band and crew, and I will miss them. I am thrilled by how much better our shows have gotten, night after night, and I am frustrated by the prospect of losing all that momentum. I want to keep performing and pushing myself as a performing artist.
Finding a balance between these two impulses will likely be a defining aspect of the next chapter of my life. Still, a worry for another day. Today, I want to focus on enjoying every second of my last show in North America.
Sunday, June 1
2:00 am
Chicago, Illinois
Never been to Chicago, and I feel like I got a condensed but fulfilling version of the experience! I stepped foot off the tour bus into the breezy streets to find myself greeted by throngs of people wearing Cubs shirt as the city’s iconic elevated train rattled above my head. Outside the Vic Theatre, I saw my own face glowing off the digital marquee.
While the crew loaded gear in, I met up with my friend Doug Walker, a YouTuber best known to the world as Nostalgia Critic. He and I have several close friends in common, including James Rolfe (YouTube’s The Angry Video Game Nerd). Doug and I have communicated for years. However, until today, we’d never met in real life. Doug was joined by his brother Rob, and Rob’s wife Erin. We met outside the Vic, and walked down to a local joint called DMK, where I got a burger with an incredible blueberry BBQ sauce. I enjoyed nerding out about movies with Doug because he and I clearly grew up with all the same movies and shows. I was surprised, however, to learn that the Walker brothers grew up just eighty miles south of me, in the Seattle region of the Pacific Northwest. We have even more in common than I thought!
After lunch, they walked me to the legendary Wrigley Field, honoring my request to take me to at least one filming location from my favorite cinematic musical, The Blues Brothers. There was a game today, so the streets were absolutely packed with fans, giving me a true sense of the city at its most frenetic.
Returning to the Vic, I went through the final soundcheck, VIP pre-show performance, and signing of this leg of the tour.
Our last performance in North America for this tour went very well. Still, even on the fifteenth show, I discovered new things to do in the set. During the opening solo of “Blood Upon the Snow,” where I perform the hurdy gurdy solo from “Raeb’s Lament,” I walked across the stage as I played and sat down on a monitor on the side of the stage. This mirrored the exact movements I made as an actor in the final scene of God of War Ragnarök, portraying the surly dwarf musician Raeb. This made the memory of that scene come alive in my mind, and I felt a swell of emotion as I played.
Another idea came to me tonight that I am shocked had not occurred to me before. Tonight, before we launched into “The Skye Boat Song,” I dedicated our performance to the memory of Sinéad O’Connor, who recorded the song with me for Outlander’s seventh season in what would tragically become her final recording. As the final, resonant chord of the song echoed across the Vic, I fought back tears as I leaned into the mic and said gently, “That was for you, Sinéad.”
After the show, the backstage area was packed with friends and family alike, include Morgan’s sister, Paul’s wife, Omer’s family, Doug Walker and his friends, and many more. It was a fitting way to celebrate the end of the run. I had hoped to grab a photo with our whole band and crew, but alas our Fellowship disbanded sooner than I had anticipated, with some people leaving immediately after the show. Nevertheless, the mood on our final bus ride together, from the Vic to our last hotel, was triumphant. I will really miss these guys!
The North American leg of my Themes and Variations Tour is now complete. I feel exhausted, exhilarated, and inspired all at once. I take some comfort in knowing that my touring adventures for 2025 are not over yet—I look forward to playing shows across Australia in July. More adventures lie ahead!
But first, more sleep.
-Bear
